Things that suck: Kettlebells, Cancer, Iced Mochas

in titling this entry, i opted for class and a cultured approach. This was exceptionally difficult given the vitriol which i wish to dispense in defacement of the aforementioned things of suck.

let’s start with kettlebells: while i am an admitted and die hard old schooler, when it comes to my clients i seek out what is best and try to approach purportedly new techniques and equipment. Purportedly because, as demonstrated by the resurgence of kettlebells, there is no better new idea than a rehashed old one. These ignominious and archaic pice of equipment fell out of favour around the same time as vaudevillian strength shows as their primary purpose was showmanship. as a component of modern exercise they fail in several important areas: safety, effectiveness, and non-redundancy being chief of these. They fail on safety due to the friction from the rotation: calouses are not only probable, they are excessive and could keep you out of the gym for a week while they heal. what good is that?

effectiveness: how effectively is a muscle trained from the use and misuse of momentum? you use body swing to generate momentum. the muscle need to initiate this and then counter it to keep control. this is a good component to a program for many types of regimens, but can be accomplished with more consideration for both the first point (safety) and the last (non-redundant). name for me one exercise that can be accomplished with this bit of nonsense that cannot be done sager, more effectively and better with a dumbbell. i’ll wait.

non-redundant: see that cool kettle bell exercise? try it with a dumbbell and notice the lack of pain in your wrist. what’s that from? no more weight smacking you in the hand.

moving on…

if cancer had a face, i’d punch it in it’s dumb sucky face and say “fuck you, stupid cancer, i fucking hate your cancer face.”

lastly, i am trying to hate iced mochas. but i can’t. i’m off to indulge in the coffee/chocolate goodness now. fucking mochas. [it's skim, don't worry]

A long time comin’

Since my last post, I have started and erased no less than 5 of these. After such a build up to a pretty substantial event, how do you follow it? Reassess, then reassess some more of course!

Was i happy with the show? yes and no. I was happy to do it, happy for the trip. I was disappointed with my performance a bit; I failed to dehydrate/carb up properly, and it showed. Those things were well within my control. With success usually comes sacrifice, and I didn’t do what I needed to do. That said, I now know for next time… if there is a next time.

Bodybuilding is not my passion, training is. That is, the act of prancing in a speedo is not the ultimate goal for me. I do not, believe it or not, look much different (tan excluded) when not competing. I need only diet for about 4 - 8 weeks, and train with a greater volume for 6 - 8 (this time was less than 5 weeks for both). Having a reason to achieve that condition is great, but maybe something else can drive that goal.

What next? Strong Man. More on this later…

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